you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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