White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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