Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize