If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
