He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
false alarm. still invincible.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
