I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
