Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?