I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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