The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude