put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?