I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.