I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
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I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.