he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
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I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize