oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
