I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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