He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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