dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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