what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
