Sry I called you an 8
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
