I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
