He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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