come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
