Banned from zoo.
Again?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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