maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
