he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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