This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
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Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
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Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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