He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
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he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
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I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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