I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
