my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
