I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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