im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Randomize