you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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