The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
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Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
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I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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