Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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