In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
