i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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