I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
