I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize