JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize