Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
