she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
