all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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