Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
