You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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