He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
