I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
