At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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