so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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