I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
