i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
there is glitter all over my balls
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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