my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize