im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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