Swine flu. Run for my life!
i love accidental penises.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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