you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
