i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
