Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.