if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
