we have pet lesbian snakes
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag