where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
