My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Randomize
