with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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