Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
