I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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